ZCS Stock Tip for Granny - Chow Down

Pssst...hey buddy, I gotta stock tip for ya.

Want to know how the proposed Zionsville referendum will affect the stock market if it passes?

Bow wow. My money is on dog food. Huh? Dog what?

Over the past few weeks, referendum cheerleaders have been whooping it up - ZCS-Yes shirts popping up all over town, ZCS-Yes logos on school newsletters/website, school board-member sponsored email chains flying about why the town needs it, and little Johnny is telling Mommy why he'll be devastated when Mrs. Jones his favorite teacher has to leave. It's exhausting.

And, more serial disingenuousness - that science and art classes will be cut - all contrary to state law that requires it.

The cheerleader-set even has told citizens exactly how little the referendum will cost - only $480 per year on a $300,000 assessed home once all deductions are taken. (There is a handy referendum tax calculator by the way.)

But here's the rub - the taxpayer's "cost" is after all deductions are taken. That's implying everyone gets them. The main ones are the homestead deduction, and the mortgage deduction.

If you rent, you don't get a deduction and your landlord will pass the cost on to you. If you don't have a mortgage, you don't get the deduction either.

According to the census bureau, fully 19.4% of Zionsville's citizens don't have a mortgage. And 18.4% of our citizens are over age 55 - they are retired and likely don't have children in the schools. In all honesty, a large portion of our population will pay more than what is advertised by the cheerleaders. Don't forget, these residents are largely on a fixed income.

So, gird your loins Granny: Thanks for living here all your life, for your efforts making our community so wonderful, for volunteering in the schools when Susie was little, and pioneering some of the programs.

But, now your toast. Make way for the big spenders. We need bigger cooler things than what got you by in your day, and they are going to get more expensive. Sorry your barely making it now and you can't afford to live here anymore. So hey, here's a thought...maybe you could cut back on your grocery bills by eating dog food. It's pretty healthy stuff. Folks did it during the Depression. Come on, it's for the kiddies.

Dog food futures are sure to go up. Woof.

PS. Remember what Josephine told the French - let them eat dog food.

Conspiracy (Or not) 101

Like conspiracies?

Try these on for size, and don't get lost if you're under 40.

Q - Was Secretary of War Edwin Stanton involved in the assassination of President Abraham Lincoln?

A - Nope, Ed missed the play.

Q - Did President Franklin D. Roosevelt know about the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor prior to the start of America's involvement in WWII on December 7, 1941?

A - Doubtful, but a sure bet is Scott Robison will start World War III to save his referendum's _ _ _ .

Q - Was Castro involved in the assassination of President John Kennedy?

A - Ask Jimmy Hoffa.

If you are under 40 you are excused for failure to score 66%.

But now consider this closer to home as your tax heinies will be in the sling, and you'd like a little conspiracy. Zionsville is good fodder for its own convoluted plots.

Did you know there may be an insidious connection between the Zionsville Times-Sentinel with the current referendum of the Zionsville Community Schools?

Follow this: The local Zionsville paper is owned by Community Newspapers Holdings Inc., now based in Montgomery, Alabama, a privately-owned company formerly based in Birmingham, Alabama.

It was started by Alabama ex-teachers, and financed by the Retirement Systems of Alabama, the administrator of the pension fund for Alabama teachers. Duh? Zionsville's paper is owned by teachers?

Take a gander at the coverage of the Zionsville school's money grab in the Zionsville Times-Sentinel. Ask yourself, could there be a connection between hard facts about the November referendum and saving the teachers' heinies? No matter how good the Times' editor and reporter is, the boss is the boss. Call it professional courtesy between school groups.

Could the Zionsville Times-Sentinel be shying away from in-depth hard news reporting on what the referendum means to Zionsville, in favor of more "happy" news? You know, fun news about a well-meaning Political Action Committee ZCS-Yes!PAC. The ZCSYes! PAC was formed to educate Zionsville's citizens that the referendum must pass "so that we can continue operating in the manner that our schools are used to,” ZCS-Yes Treasurer Ellen Niksch said. Yeah, fun happy stuff.

Doesn't the town deserve to know that the school Superintendent went to a conference last year on "how to pass a referendum" on the taxpayer's dime? Does that show he went into the referendum process with an open mind? Do you think at the fancy conference they said to start a political action committee? Or to use kids to prey on their parent's guilt?

Won't the town's taxpayers be able to make a better decision on the referendum if all of ZCS's spending picadillos are known? Like the fleet of corporate cars, or the hiring of an outside energy firm to tell ZCS how to turn off the lights?

Score 100% if you agree with Zionsville Confidential.